Give some grace

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So six months later, I was reunited with the world around me. There is a threshold that babies seem to cross around this time for us. They start to take pleasure in the things around them. They start to take consistent naps, sleep at night. (Most of the night anyway)
If you’re one of those moms who has it all together and is tsk tsking because your child slept through the night at 8 weeks I applaud you and wish I had it together just like you. If there is one thing I have learned it’s that I definitely don’t have all of my ducks in a row. One of those ducks is usually off making a mess while I focus on the others. We’re just not too impressive. But we do know, and get hit upside the head on a regular basis, with the fact that we need Jesus. And that’s not such a bad place to be.
I’ve definitely questioned my worth with my accomplishments. In even little things like potty training. I’ve literally heard someone say, “do you know how old their child was when they were potty trained?” That is no joke! There are people who actually care about someone else’s child’s ability to go on the potty! The only children I care about going on the potty are my own. Purely selfish reasoning there.
There are times it’s tough not to allow your little accomplishments make or break you, but the one thing that has helped when I feel I’m missing the mark are my grace giving mommy friends. I don’t deserve them, but when I’m stressing about something, there are a handful of women I know who are level headed and ready to give some grace. Ready to encourage me with stories when they were there. Ready to let me know that reality sometimes mean pull-ups longer than you thought. Or not such a well rounded diet. Or a house that isn’t even close to what I would like it to be. It’s ok. My security is only in Christ and this path that I’m on with little ones in toe, is definitely not going to be perfect. It’s going to be fun, hard, rewarding, disappointing, heart-stopping, tiring, amazing, messy, lovely and a few hundred more emotions along the way. But always worth it, especially on the days it doesn’t feel like it. So if you’re needing some grace find a mommy who’s had a few years under her belt and you can see it in her eyes or hear it in her voice. Share your questions and let her share some grace with you. But always pass it on to another mommy in the trenches. You never know what they’re going through. Perfection will never help them. Give some grace.

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10 responses »

  1. I am so with you on this. =) Typing with tears as I feel overwhelmed with a sick boy, and one on the way. I wonder how I will manage. I know God gives grace. And I am learning that it is needed so much more than I ever realized. I appreciate you sharing. =) Love you!

    • You’ll get it done. It’s amazing the days I’m overwhelmed seem all consuming especially with little sick ones. But then just give it a few hours to maybe a week and life will feel fine again. It’s definitely not easy, but possible with Christ’s strength. Anyone who knows realizes they are not capable. We’re not supposed to be. Hard to accept, I know!!

      • Gretchen, I enjoyed your sharing your thoughts with us. There were many times I felt just like you wrote but as my boys grew I began to see a change in them that I liked. They became very active in church activities and when they got married they raised their children to love the Lord and to serve Him. Now one of our Grandchildren is married and raising her family to love the Lord and as he grows he will learn to serve Him. During all this time I found it was more important to be a help to people and share the love of Christ then to have a spotless home. Things will get done and so what if your little one is not potty trained by the magic year of two. Your child is loved and he is content and you both are making memories. I hope this makes sense. As you get older you seem to rattle on. Thank you for sharing to young mom and old moms too. May God Bless you. Hugs Dotty DeVault

      • That is sooo encouraging to hear. Sometimes we know the most important things in our heads but we get so distracted by the urgent. Thank you for your encouragement. It really means something when it’s someone who’s on the other side.

  2. Gretchen, I haven’t gotten around to reading all your posts…but they are still waiting in my long list of emails I hope to read when I ‘find time’… πŸ˜‰ BUT I always love reading yours bc I’m always encouraged and can let out a nice sigh of relief at some point and kind of smile at myself bc I know I’m not alone!!! πŸ˜‰ Thank you for always just being REAL! Not everyone can appreciate that but I do and maybe bc I think transparency is best. So thank you mommie friend for being transparent and sharing your ups AND downs. πŸ™‚

    • Thank you so much Angie. I know I always appreciate someone who I can relate to. I’m over the perfection competition. I see no need, it always leaves me feeling discouraged. Because I know the real me. Thanks for being the same. It’s so nice to have some friends who get it, no judgement. πŸ˜‰

  3. Gretchen,
    I really do enjoy reading your posts. You are always very encouraging and “normal!” (whatever that is! :-D)
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers often.
    Your, as yet, un-met friend, Mandy

    • That’s so encouraging to hear. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it to reveal my true self. But I guess if you know who I really am, God just seems a little more impressive when He does something. And that’s our purpose in earth right? To glorify him!
      We’ll have to meet one of these days.

  4. I loved this post. I always forget that I’m not supposed to judge my or my children’s accomplishments based off of others’ opinions and it gets very discouraging when I do!!! It can be such a rollercoaster sometimes! I really appreciate your realness-always. And I’m always impressed with all you do as a wife, mother and missionary. You really are more accomplished than you give yourself credit for, I think. πŸ™‚ Could say more, but have to go. Love you! πŸ™‚

    • Melissa,
      Thanks so much. You are so encouraging. It’s true listening to others opinions is tough, because we all have different abilities, priorities. You never know why someone is doing something the way they do or accomplished in one area, but not in another. Like they say we compare other peoples highlights to our uncut real life. Perfect Recipe for discouragement.

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