Why? it’s a loaded question isn’t it? When I talk to my 5 year old about the reason we live so far from family. The answer is not because we love people so much, because honestly I love my family more than anyone else. It’s not because we have so much good in us, or so much to teach people. It’s not because there isn’t anyone else here. There are people here who love God and almost anywhere you look.
The real reason, the reason that keeps me away from the people I love the most. The reason I live in a place I’m not so comfortable, I can’t get the things I could in America. I feel like just surviving is a struggle sometimes. Asking my kids to grow up without grandparents close by or cousins, aunts and uncles? It’s because we love Him and this is what He asks of us. its an honor to get to prove our love for Christ in this way. So when my little girl asks me “why we can’t live next door to grandma”. My response is “because Jesus is most important, more than us, more than family” There is coming a day when we will spend eternity with our family, and Jesus, Lord willing. Right now we have a tremendous way of proving our love to him. And that, some days requires missing our loved ones so much it hurts. I never imagined the pain through a mommy’s eyes until now. But hearing that my daughter told her cousin “it’s because we go where God wants us to go, and He wants us here now.” Made me realize there are life long lessons they are learning.
We walk by faith and not by sight. We remind each other that He is most important and if we love Him most He gives us grace and precious memories to look back on and talk about.
And future times to look forward to.
So today when all of this just doesn’t feel worth it. I remind myself He is worthy of all of our love and our praise. He is worthy of separation from loved ones. He is worthy of life lessons I can’t even stand to see my children go through. It may never “feel” worth it, but his promises tell me a different story. He is worth it.