Getting ready this morning with all of these thoughts running through my head, my devotions in Jeremiah are so revealing of where my heart is headed. My mind has been so full of all that needs to be done. I’m tired of packing and thinking about packing and most of it is yet to be done. I’m grateful for the opportunity The Lord has given us to go. But spending time with family is almost painful knowing these are the last few times. I’m anxious to get there, but really? Is our time coming to a close? Do we have to be away from our friends and family for that long? And all the while I’m listening to a whisper, “maybe God isn’t really that good” “it’s not fair that I should have to ‘sacrifice’ this and live constantly stressing about packing and leaving”. I know the truth, of course I know God is good. But as I read and try to give all of these things to him I find myself doubting his goodness.
As Jeremiah 1-3 talks of Israel seeking satisfaction through broken cisterns. Having committed this sin of adultery, I realize to entertain any thoughts that contradict the truth of His Word is like listening to another man tell me my husband isn’t really good to me. He doesn’t love me all that much or why would he allow this?
This picture in my own mind of me continuing to listen to this man time and again breaks my heart to think of how much this would hurt my own husband. How much more is this breaking the heart of my Savior?
So as I begin today I choose to be faithful to my Savior, my God. I will dwell on His promises, and reject these thoughts. All that the Lord has for us is good and full of His grace. Praising him for allowing us to go, He sure doesn’t need us. He is always good and will only give us what He knows we can handle in His strength.