I’m going to let you in on a little secret. My most carnal desire is to live a “normal” life in the states and actually have a chance to get bored. I crave a basement to store things or a closet and drawers, not a suitcase and car trunk. I crave a regular routine one church where I belong, a house to clean and meals to cook. These may be things so simple sounding to you and nothing really innately wrong with it, but for me it’s a temptation to be jealous of those who have it.
All of us have different temptations that’s for sure maybe you are the opposite and wish to break out of the normal I’ve been there too.
But when my desires to bring myself joy overshadow the place God has put me, I end up killing my own joy.
There is so much to be thankful for, we get to experience things most people only dream of, yet I grumble and complain over the little things that I don’t have.
I think of Mary when God gave her the news of Jesus in her womb. What if she were like me and decided this wasn’t her plan? This isn’t fair that she should have to sacrifice the respect of many or the comfort of the normal life? What if she just went along with it but complained the entire time? I’m sure Mary wasn’t perfect, but she was willing. It may sound ridiculous because we see the end result but for Mary, this was a complete step of Faith. Some days I’m willing but my joy is snuffed out because of my expectations of God. When I see myself for what I truly am. A child of His who deserves nothing. When I consider anything from Him a true gift. A life He in His wisdom has carefully chosen for me. Life is so much sweeter when I’m willing and grateful for all the many blessings I receive but do not expect, nor deserve.