Much of Jesus

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Recently we attended the Summit with the Our Generation training center. It has changed me as a child of God. On our way there My heart was in the wrong place and I knew it. Since we’ve been in the US. I’ve felt so disillusioned by some experiences we’ve had that it has brought me to a place where I’ve questioned “missions” and the “ministry”. I know God and I know the truth of his word, but I got so caught up in the failures of men including my own that I lost sight of who it’s all about. I lost sight of the fact that we are all nothing and merely humans who only distract from God’s glory when we let ourselves or other people get in the way of it. There is nothing more repulsive to me than someone who is consumed by themselves. Yet in a sense when I keep my eyes on the problems of men or myself I’m doing far worse to my Savior.
This has been a long time coming. I feel as though I’ve been in this slump for some time and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to pull out. But these desert experiences are for a reason and they sure make that refreshing oasis from Him so much sweeter.
I’ve felt tired, and drained mentally emotionally and spiritually. I’ve felt as though something had to give! What was all of this for anyway? And my God in his loving way allowed me to be a part of a group of missionaries who love Jesus with all of their hearts they were willing to share their failures so that we could see God. That takes love and trust in an almighty God. To open yourself up and become vulnerable just because of your love for The Lord. I want to make much of Jesus in the same way.

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