Ouch! that second one is quite painful to think about. In my tendency to speak my mind I sometimes don’t practice discretion or discernment. This is one area that I have asked the Lord to change me and give me wisdom. My husband is a very discerning man and I try to run things by him if ever I can because he has the opposite tendency as I do. He will wait and look at the entire picture then make a decision. He almost never reacts and thinks before acting.
For the sake of being honest and open with people I have shared my heart a little too much without discretion in the two years that we have been here. I have learned this lesson the hard way. In this day and age so much is bared for all to see from blogs to Twitter and Facebook, most of us know exactly what people are thinking every minute of every day. Some of us have to fight the urge not to share what’s really on our minds. What’s wrong with that? you may ask, so many times out of frustration or sheer joy we write or blurt things out, that maybe if we took some time, we may not have said those things after all. Or sometimes out of just loneliness we start to share all of our struggles without having learned that lesson yet. Many times our pride is the culprit. We want to speak our mind or help people to see our side of the story. Maybe it’s just sharing our burden or wanting someone to feel for us, after all we’re only human. There is a fine line in being honest and having discretion. Having discretion sometimes means not sharing it all.
Through our time here it has felt like a refining fire for sure. I see my sin as uglier than it has ever been and the more that I learn the more I realize how incapable I am. I used to look around me and wonder “where are all of my friends, who are supposed to help me carry these burdens?” But over time I have come to see it was unfair of me to try to give them to anyone but the Lord. There is no way for anyone to carry your burden. They were only meant for God. Only he is capable of making us what he wants us to be.
Psalm 55:22 Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Facebook and twitter can’t promise that.
So in my desire for quiet discretion I have made an effort to filter my thoughts before speaking my mind. This is a slow process, I have had victories and defeats. My husband reminds me that defeats are a gift from God because we learn more from our defeats than victories. However, never underestimate a victory. It may be small, but it’s improvement and we could all use a little of that.