Well, here’s a question for any of you Missionary wives or friends living in a new place. I love my home and as a mom there are always things to do. In addition to the norm, I am taking language classes online during my children’s “nap” time. 🙂 Once the week starts, I feel like I don’t stop until Saturday and then I crash, even though I still have a million things to do or that I want to do. We don’t have our own yard, so I have to intentionally take my kids to the park or outside our apartment into the courtyard to play. As a foreigner in still what feels like a new place, It’s not very comfortable. I know I’m not” supposed” to share this, But it is such a real feeling it makes it hard to want to get out. I do get out, just have to make myself some days.
I just can’t seem to shake that feeling of being stared at like I am a “crazy foreigner”. Is it just me? Does the idea of getting out and trying to meet people strike fear in your heart and make you wish you could just do this without the language barrier thing? So many people I know seem able to do this naturally. I will always have an accent, I will always be different, I just wish I were more outgoing. Sometimes leaving friends and family feels like you just cut all your ties and it is hard to make new ones so quickly. I don’t feel like I have much to show for it. God has given us some wonderful people, but they all live across the border unfortunately. It’s really been a battle of contentment. And it’s a fight that just keeps rearing its ugly head. So is it Culture shock? Or am I just a homebody with too much to do?
Sometimes I just wonder if anyone else has felt this way and how do you overcome it? The one thing I keep coming back to is that I’m not supposed to feel at home here. Living in a strange place makes that more real for me. Hebrews 11 really brings that to light for me. A friend of mine was kicked out of her home because she is not observing the fast during this month for Ramadan. I can’t imagine how heart-broken she must be feeling, As I pray for peace and healing for her heart, I am grateful to know her and inspired to know she is taking this stand, she is living out Hebrews 11 in real way. So yes, I have it easy in my little frustration with the language, and getting my kids out of the house is kind of ridiculous in comparison. I hope to keep these heroes of the faith in front of me to always pull me out of my slump thinking about myself. God is so good and will give us the strength to not really care what anyone thinks and use these little things to bring honor and glory to his name. Maybe if I were so capable in something like the language, I wouldn’t be as dependent on him. So back to my question, what are some things that have helped you get past the feeling of disconnect when it comes to the culture and language?