When we are not…

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Yesterday was by far one of the most challenging days I have faced in a while.   You know that feeling of “ugh, can I do anything right?” yes, all day I was asking myself that question.  Lately it has been my pride, I think we all struggle with pride, but sometimes it just glares at you, mocking you.  It was one major situation with our neighbors and our car, and lots of little ones from thoughts to responses to actions, I went to bed feeling the weight of my horribly disgusting prideful sin.  Sometimes it just feels so impossible.  Everything feels so difficult.  The crazy thing is I have really been trying to seek God’s face and humble myself toward him, knowing I need him. Currently I am reading a great book on humility, by CJ Mahaney.  It is really giving some practical advice for combating pride.  So yesterday I tried applying some and then my pride just roared back at me, as if to say, “I am not going anywhere!” Whatever it was it was painful and quite discouraging.  One of those days where you think, “what am I doing? Who do I think I am?” And that is exactly what Satan wants, to defeat me.  So now I can choose to stay defeated and discouraged by all that I am not, or look to Jesus and be encouraged that even though I am not, He is.  He is the great “I Am,” I have no reason to feel I shouldn’t be in any position if he is the one who put me here.  I should be humbled that he would choose to save someone like me, and yesterday was just a humbling day.  If I am seeking humility, then I realize now, He is orchestrating everything.  Sometimes we want to reflect these attributes of God without the pain it takes to become more like him.  

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8 responses »

  1. It’s amazing how the Lord works. I found your blog while reading another friend’s blog. How thankful I am to have found you and what an encouragement your thoughts have beeen.

  2. I received such a blessing reading this. We all struggle with our pride at times so thank you for posting a message that will help and encourage others in their struggle with “self”. We are praying for you and your family.

  3. You might really find “Humility” by Andrew Murray a blessing and encouragment with your struggle with pride.
    The Lord has greatly used it in my life.

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